ψ-Cloud
Pay per qubit-hour or per qubit-maybe-hour.
ψ-Cloud is the world's first hyperscaler whose underlying compute fabric exists in superposition until your invoice is observed. Workloads run in 4,096 timelines simultaneously and we bill you for whichever one had the highest CPU utilization.
Capabilities
What it does. Or appears to do.
/feature/01
Auto-scaling, retroactively
Detects load spikes after they happen and provisions capacity backwards in time. Customers report fewer outages prospectively.
/feature/02
Multi-region, multi-multiverse
Available in us-east-1, us-east-∞, and three regions accessible only via meditation.
/feature/03
Serverless serverless
We removed the servers from the serverless. Things are slightly faster and substantially less reliable.
/feature/04
Compliance-flavored
Compliant with SOC 2, HIPAA, and the implied vibe of GDPR.
Spec sheet
By the numbers (unverified).
| Qubit fabric | 4,096 logical (8 physical) |
| P50 latency | 12ms · also 4 hours |
| Region count | 17 (3 conjectural) |
| Pricing unit | $ per qubit-second-maybe |
| Cold start | Spiritually warm |
| Carbon footprint | Negative (we believe) |
| Pricing | From $0.0042 per qubit-second-maybe. |
Customer outcomes
Statements made by people, allegedly.
“We migrated our entire workload to ψ-Cloud and now nobody on the team can find it. Best decision we ever made.”
T. Marsh
Platform Lead · OmniCorp
“Costs are down 80%. Or up 400%. We've stopped looking at the dashboard out of respect.”
L. Brennan
VP Eng · Pied Piper
Frequently entangled questions
Things people have asked, in some branch.
Is my data safe?+
Your data is in 1 of 4,096 states. The other 4,095 are functionally indistinguishable from safety.
What happens if a region goes down?+
Other regions go up correspondingly. This is called 'conservation of uptime' and is a unique feature of ψ-Cloud.
Can I bring my own qubit?+
We strongly discourage it. Last time someone did this, the qubit unionized.
◇ Ready to deploy?
Bring ψ-Cloud into your stack.
Or don't. The product will continue to exist either way, in some form, somewhere.