◇ QBIT $4,201.07 ▲ 14.2%◇ BREAKING: Split the Bit achieves quantum supremacy over a TI-83◇ Q-COFFEE™ now ships in superposition (hot AND cold)◇ Series F led by a hedge fund that does not technically exist◇ Schrödinger's roadmap published — both shipped and not shipped◇ Qubit count: 4 · also 4,000,000 · we will not be taking questions◇ ψ-CLOUD region us-east-∞ now generally available in the multiverse◇ QBIT $4,201.07 ▲ 14.2%◇ BREAKING: Split the Bit achieves quantum supremacy over a TI-83◇ Q-COFFEE™ now ships in superposition (hot AND cold)◇ Series F led by a hedge fund that does not technically exist◇ Schrödinger's roadmap published — both shipped and not shipped◇ Qubit count: 4 · also 4,000,000 · we will not be taking questions◇ ψ-CLOUD region us-east-∞ now generally available in the multiverse
ψSplit/the/BitRequest Decoherence

◇ Open roles

Help us build the least deterministic company on Earth.

We are hiring across engineering, operations, and several functions we have not yet defined. The interview process is rigorous, multi-stage, and occasionally collapses on its own.

Open roles

Currently observed positions.

Senior Schrödinger

Engineering

Maintain the lab cat. Ensure the cat is in a state of well-defined uncertainty during business hours. Report to the Head of Decoherence, when locatable.
Remote · also onsite

Quantum Janitor

Operations

Sweep up unobserved electrons. Mop the wave. Empty the recycling, both bins. Must own non-conductive shoes.
Pittsburgh, PA

Chief Uncertainty Officer (Co)

Executive

Co-lead our company-wide indecision strategy alongside our existing Chief Uncertainty Officer, M. Patel. Reports to both M. Patel and possibly to no one.
Anywhere · briefly

Staff Wavefunction Engineer

Engineering

Design, deploy, and occasionally collapse high-throughput wavefunctions in production. Comfortable being on-call for events that have not yet occurred.
SF · NYC · Veridia

Probabilistic Recruiter

People

You will source candidates who are, in some sense, already employed here. Familiarity with LinkedIn and modal logic preferred.
Remote

Quantum Customer Success Manager

Customer

Each customer is succeeding and failing simultaneously. Your job is to bias the wave toward 'succeeding' before the QBR.
Remote

Brand Designer (Indeterminate)

Design

Refresh our brand without ever finalizing it. Logo must remain in superposition between 'serif' and 'sans-serif' until shipped.
NYC

Legal Counsel, Many-Worlds Interpretation

Legal

Defend Split the Bit against subpoenas issued in adjacent timelines. JD required. Multiple JDs preferred.
DC · DC (different DC)

Benefits

Why work here?

A non-exhaustive, possibly inaccurate list of perks.

▸Unlimited PTO that you cannot prove you took.
▸401(k) match in any currency you can prove existed in 2008.
▸On-site QuantumCoffee™ bar (results vary).
▸Annual offsite to a location that has both occurred and not.
▸Mental health benefits: 8 sessions, 4 of them retroactive.
▸Stock options that vest in a probabilistic schedule.

Don't see your role?

Apply anyway. Or don't. Or both.

Send your résumé, cover letter, and a short essay on the measurement problem to careers@splitthebit.com.