◇ QBIT $4,201.07 ▲ 14.2%◇ BREAKING: Split the Bit achieves quantum supremacy over a TI-83◇ Q-COFFEE™ now ships in superposition (hot AND cold)◇ Series F led by a hedge fund that does not technically exist◇ Schrödinger's roadmap published — both shipped and not shipped◇ Qubit count: 4 · also 4,000,000 · we will not be taking questions◇ ψ-CLOUD region us-east-∞ now generally available in the multiverse◇ QBIT $4,201.07 ▲ 14.2%◇ BREAKING: Split the Bit achieves quantum supremacy over a TI-83◇ Q-COFFEE™ now ships in superposition (hot AND cold)◇ Series F led by a hedge fund that does not technically exist◇ Schrödinger's roadmap published — both shipped and not shipped◇ Qubit count: 4 · also 4,000,000 · we will not be taking questions◇ ψ-CLOUD region us-east-∞ now generally available in the multiverse
ψSplit/the/Bit
← All field notes
Leadership·November 18, 2025

Field notes: the CFO who could do math

By M. Patel, Chief Uncertainty Officer

A Fortune 500 customer, name redacted, deployed our Q-CRM platform across all 14 of its sales regions in Q2. Initial results were promising: every deal in the pipeline was simultaneously closed-won and closed-lost, and the executive dashboard had the pleasant indeterminate glow that we have come to associate with strong adoption.

Then, in week six, the company hired a new CFO. The new CFO, against our explicit guidance, performed arithmetic on the pipeline. The wavefunction collapsed. Several thousand deals resolved instantaneously into the 'closed-lost' state.

The customer churned. We learned a great deal. Going forward, all Q-CRM contracts will require a CFO compatibility assessment, in which our solutions team confirms that the CFO does not, by temperament or training, perform direct mathematical operations on revenue.

Disclaimer

This post may have been written. The author may exist. Forward-looking statements herein are not guarantees of any specific timeline.